Rapper's Legacy

In my short time on Twitter, I've seen a different side to social media. Just like with Facebook, there's a very fine edge that you've got to make sure you're aware of.  Investing yourself too much can happen too easily.  But, that is not the point of this post.  This post is dedicated to talking about what I've seen in the lives of many of the rappers I follow.

Some of them I've appreciated for a long time.  Some of them I've only started following because other rappers I follow follow them.  Re-read that if you have to get it...hahaha. I had to type it really slow after thinking it through twice and thrice.  The thing about these rappers is that they've shared an aspect of their lives that I hadn't really thought about.

They have children.

Royce the 5' 9", Sean Mandela, Dres, Illus, Playdough, Manchild, Eminem, (I don't follow any of the next rappers, but they have kids) Nelly, TI, The Game, and many others that I can't recall.  I've seen some of them tweet/talk about their kids.  I've read about how they love their kids.  I've read about how they're gonna discipline their kids, and what shows their kids love, and how much they enjoy parenthood even though it's a challenge.

Why do I bring up rappers and their kids? Because, they know what its like to have children.  They know what its like to love their kids and to sacrifice for them and to have to discipline them.  They want good things for their kids.  They want to give their kids good things and teach them good things.

They want to leave their kids a legacy.

So what?  They're probably all well off and capable of ensuring their children are provided for, right?  Well, that has very little to do with actually leaving their children a legacy.  Some of them (SEE: Just About All Of Them) make music with lyrics that talk about drugs, or violence, or sex with whores.  Some of their music, while displaying their gift, speaks in unedifying ways about life and the things we do.  Granted, some of those things are just a part of many of our lives in this sinful world, but glorifying it is no legacy that any parent that truly loves their children wants.

We want our children to be able to follow our example.  We want to be unashamed to tell our children that we walked in goodness and in love.  While I know, for the most part, that most of their lyrics are just to showcase their talents, to a listener who has no context, they are ridiculous, violent, destructive, venomous songs.

Royce the 5' 9" is a recovered/recovering alcoholic.  He did it for many reasons, but he sees how much it means to be sober and straight for his children.  He can see clearly how much more meaningful life is and how he can enjoy his family all the more without constantly being clouded.  He can more clearly see what it means to be a man of example for his children to follow.

With that said, what is your legacy?  Are you leaving a legacy that you won't be ashamed of for your children?  Are you living a life that is filled with goodness, grace, mercy, truth, strength, justice, and love?  If you're not, and you're still reading, only Christ can help you have a legacy that can change you and your family, and community, for generations.  A life and legacy for Christ is one that we can all be unashamed of.  It's not easy, because as much as I want to and am trying, I fail.  But, God is good and forgives me, and my children see that and see my walk.  They know that I love them and strive to be a strong man for them and for God.

Make sure your legacy is more than stale morals and money.  Give your kids more than you could ever afford.

A$AP ROCKY - Long Live A$AP

I don't normally do this, but this is both a response to the Director of Music for a radio station in San Jose and a review of an album I recently heard.  Granted, it's not going to be an in-depth review, because I won't have listened to it more than once when I write this.

Driving on my way to work today, I was listening to A$AP Rocky's latest album, "Long Live A$AP." From some of the people I follow on Twitter, it was supposed to have been a great album.  This is not the case.  I listened to half of it on the way to work and the other half on the way back home.  Looking back on it, I'm glad that that was how it worked out.  The album, while ranging from decent to solid on production, is largely dark and completely lacking in any kind of quality that isn't talking about niggas, riding with his niggas, riding on some niggas, fuck those other niggas, Lambos, Raris, whores, bitches, pseudo-religious statements in which he compares himself to God or Christ, weed, and niggas.  It left me quite drained and put a strain on my spirit that I don't normally feel from good music.  His songs and lyrics are in no way edifying, and are rarely clever.  I will probably never listen to him, or that album ever again.

Now, you may say, "this is just my taste in music," right?  That is where every bit of my mind, body and soul disagree.  Even if I wasn't a Christian, I could not enjoy such destructive and senseless music.  I pointed out to The Alchemist how I felt about the first half of the album I heard, and SJ Radio came back and answered.  I answered back and then he came back with the following Tweets:

"if u don't like pmw ... U don't like ASAP n q ... Cuz it's their signature just like hands on the wheel or brand new guy that's how those two get down ... And pmw is dope ... One of The top 5 cuts on the record the fact that u are sayin ASAP isn't hip hop or is hip hop... Makes u seem hella sus ... Quit classifying shit n do u listen to wat u like n disregard the other ish ... No need to Go into what is and isn't hip hop ... That's just idiotic " 

To which I say, What, precisely, is his and their signature? Garbage raps about guns, drugs, cars, and fucking whores?   And how, exactly, is a song titled, PMW (All I Really Need) and the PMW stands for Pussy, Money, Weed a great song?  How can anyone with a shred of reason or compassion for people be able to title a song Pussy, Money, Weed?  And then, well, the lyrics are of a caliber that suits the title.  And, if I used the loosest standards by which I judge music, there is by no means "5 dope cuts" on that entire album.  He's lucky if there's 2.  And, I concede, I should not have said he was hiphop...because not all rap is hiphop.

One of the lines that bothers me the most is "Quit classifying shit n do u." Do me?  What does that mean? Pay no attention to what is out there and try to help my people and anyone else that might listen to try to shield them from these garbage raps?  Bury my head in the sand and not TRY to find good music and the behest of people who I respect in HipHop and Rap?  So, in this case, they're telling me to be close-minded and just continue on my merry way?  Continue on my merry way and let people just fall into the pit of garbage raps that people like A$AP and 2chainz and Rick Ross perpetuate to capitalize on the feeble minds and desires of the poor souls that have no real direction?  That would mean that I hate those people.  And I don't.  My heart breaks for them and I would love to see them do better than the horrible lyrics that are contained in A$AP's album.  To see that that is no way to live their lives.  To see that that is not even close to an example of good music.  To see garbage for garbage and run from it.  Do me, SJ Radio?  I don't think so.

Your words are as ignorant as your grasp of music.  Pump garbage that's considered "hot."  It is called "hot garbage" for a reason.  Just because it's hot does not mean that it's dope.  Keep your selfish, self-serving words for someone with no vision.  As for me, I love HipHop and Rap...but I don't put up with garbage.

You got your FaceSpace, and your MyFace, and your Tweetr...

I love social media.  I get to interact with friends and family who are far away.  I get to express my opinion across the vast nothingness that is the internet so that others might find out where to eat, who to listen to or what to do when your friend is on fire.  I love the opportunities presented by having social media.  But there is at least one thing that makes me...I think it's sad, but I can't quite put my finger on it.

Most of the time, I love reading what people stream across the internet.  I love seeing pictures of my friends that don't live close to me right now.  I hate seeing only their pictures and reading their words, but at least I get to still see a little part of their lives.  I love to read the genuinely funny things that some of the people I follow on Twitter say.  I love seeing how much of a passion Evidence (one of the MCs from Dilated Peoples) has for beautiful photography. I love keeping up with my Niners. Red and Gold!  I love the insight and wisdom that brothers like Pastor Mark give. I love I love interacting, even if nothing ever get's said back to me.

But, this is where the struggle comes in.  There is a side to social media that is ugly and swallows up peoples lives.  They seek satisfaction on unhealthy levels through it.  They beg and plead for people they follow to retweet what they say because "they're a huge fan" or because it's their/mom's/kid's/dad's/dog's birthday.  They ask and beg for people to follow them.  They say things that they wouldn't say in public.  Those things make it quite obvious that they are desperate.  Desperate for what?  Fulfillment.  They seek to have affirmation and to feel like they matter.  They feel like the people/celebrities they follow are the only people that they can draw this from.

I won't lie.  Sometimes my heart starts to think like that.  I wish that one of the "celebrities" that I follow would respond to me, make me feel like I'm a "real person," do something that would validate my action.  But you know, my heart is quickly called back to the truth.  My life, my heart, and my identity are not found in what I tweet or what I put on my Facebook.  My life, my heart, my identity, my validation and my worth are all found in Christ.  Again, I'm not perfect...and sometimes I start to wish that someone on one of those social platforms would "pay attention" to me and say..."GREAT JOB, JUAN!"

But you know what? God is so much more loving, attentive and caring than any of those "celebrities" or people could ever be.  His love and grace are so deep and reach far passed any place any validation by an athlete or musician could bring.  The elation of a retweet wears off rather quickly.  The love of our Father endures and strengthens and calls us back.  We can't and shouldn't look to anyone on Twitter or Facebook or anywhere else to make us feel alive.  Our life should be a reflection of God's immense love and grace that fills every single bit of our lives till it overflows!

One of the MANY verses that speaks of God's changing and sustaining power and love. Matthew 5:16

In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.

Where is God?

For a long time now, I've had this brewing, and with yesterday's tragedy, it just brought it all to a head, in my head.  Please please please read it all the way through.  If it doesn't seem to make sense, and you get angry, just read it all the way through so you can REALLY hate me.  But know that God loves you regardless.

• 5 million children a year die from hunger and malnutrition, around the world
• Hundreds of thousands of women, children and men are raped every year
• Women, children and men are sold in to sexual slavery around the world to be exploited till they are either too old, sick with disease, or dead
• Men, women, and children are killed and their organs harvested and sold on the black market
• Over 12 million babies have been aborted since the turn of the century
• There was a murder every 36 minutes, in 2011, in the United states
• Of those murders, 8,552 were committed with a gun of some kind
• Of THOSE murders, 1,220 were committed in the state of California
• A large majority of the world lives at or beneath the poverty line (Israel's poverty line is $7.30 per person per day)

I could run off a list of facts that would just continue to enrage or depress you, or both.  The point is, we live in a world that is overflowing with injustice, depravity, death, greed, and pollution.  Some still cry out, "Where is God?"  God has not left.  God is still sitting, waiting to be called on by His creations which He loves and seeks to redeem.  

"But if He is God, why does He allow such evil to happen?  Why would he allow His creation to suffer so much?  Why would He ALLOW children to die of hunger, rape, murder, and all the other evil things that happen every second of every day around the world?"  So many people use these questions to get angry with God.  So many people are blind to the simple truth.

God has ever been present in our lives and world, and is but a heartbeat away from producing a life-altering change within us that would transform our lives, our families, our communities, our cities, and inevitably, the world.  Change does start with one person, Christ.  Only He can change our hearts and fill them with a wonderful love for our neighbors and neighborhood.  And a neighborhood is the basis of community.  To live in community, through Christ, would radically change many things.  

1.  The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. John 1:5   The darkness could not hide if we were bound in community through Christ.  What does this mean?  It means that truly perverse people with dark hard hearts would flee from the people of God to seek a safer place to do their evil deeds.  They would not be able to abide in the truth and light of God and His people.  

2.  Also, there would not be one person in the community that did not feel loved.  There are literally dozens of verses in the Bible that speak of the community of God loving one another.  With this, no one would feel depressed or alone or abandoned.  God's love brings us into community and His community is filled with love.

But, without realizing that we are poor, needy, destitute sinners that can offer God nothing but our surrender to His love, we can only stand in our pride, which is nothing but filthy rags when compared to a mighty and everlasting God.  Think about this, say you're wrong about God existing and when you die you stand before Him and say, "Well, I was a good person."  He will say to you " 'I tell you, I do not know where you come from. Depart from me, all you workers of evil!' Luke 13:27."  You can bring God NOTHING.  But even so, He still wants to bless you and me, sinners, with more than we could ever imagine.  

God wants you and me to see how much we need Him.  He wants us to turn away from our evil deeds, from our selfish ways, and to turn to Him and say, "Lord, here I am, create in me a clean heart."  He wants us to see how much change He can do in us and through us for our family, our neighbors, our city and the world to see.

Don't get angry because God doesn't step in and stamp out evil with one breath.  He most certainly could, but He doesn't.  Why?  Because He is filled with mercy and His heart breaks that everyone would know Him as Father.  Don't look to Washington, DC to solve our problems, because they are only corrupt men and women, just like us.  The change must start with us.  The change must come from Christ.

Now, you might think these the ramblings of a crazy person.  I'm ok with that.  Just know that I'm not talking about starting up our own "Christian City" where we're all safe from evil and we don't let anyone not with us in.  No, quite the contrary, I'm saying that we need to put our lives for Christ on display, right where they are, in our neighborhoods, jobs, and cities, for the world to see and feel God's love and know Him in spirit and in truth.

God has not left you friend.  He is knocking at the door of your heart.

A Response to the Curse of the American Church

So, upon reading the blog post which can be found here: The Curse of the American Church, I started thinking, "Is this the case?"  Are churches in America so concerned with success that they care more about growth than actual life together, mission, and gospelling one another?  I examined the churches I've had the blessing to be a part of, and the churches I've had the blessing to know people from, and came to the conclusion that no, not all churches in America are so concerned with growth alone that they marginally do the things that should come naturally from living a Spirit filled life.

If you've never heard the saying, "It is more important to be faithful than it is to be successful," think about what the implications of it are.  Let it roll around in your mind and heart for a bit.  Personally, it means that a "great" job that provides for your family might not be a good thing if you have to sacrifice your family to be in that good job.  My brothers and sisters in the Armed Forces, I know this applies to you because I was in your shoes.  Just because we're doing something we think is a "good" thing for our families, doesn't mean we're doing the right thing for our families.  

Corporately in the Church, this means that we can not focus on trivial things such as butts in seats.  While it is important to see that there are butts in seats, our mission and focus is not to scramble frantically to do something about filling them.  We are to live our lives out in the light of God's truth, filled with Christ's love, and lead by the Holy Spirit.  In doing these things, people will be drawn to God, not by our attempts to befriend them through a game of basketball or a meal we share, but by the presence of His Holy Spirit and His heavy and holy hand upon them.  Their spirit will thirst and seek to fulfill that thirst in the only way it knows how, by coming to church to hear His word.  The church, on fire for God, is what caused growth that is so clearly talked about and documented throughout the book of Acts.

Acts 2:47 "...And the Lord added to their number day by day those who were being saved. "

Acts 5:14 "And more than ever believers were added to the Lord, multitudes of both men and women, "

This verse explicitly states a good caveat that is very much implied in all the other verses...

Acts 9:31 "So the church throughout all Judea and Galilee and Samaria had peace and was being built up. And walking in the fear of the Lord and in the comfort of the Holy Spirit, it multiplied."

And Acts 16:5 "So the churches were strengthened in the faith, and they increased in numbers daily."

So, while we can't and shouldn't measure "success" by growth and numbers alone, because our "success" is measured only by how we are walking, personally and corporately, with Christ, we should see growth in our churches.  Why "success" you say?  Because, "success" is never in the sights of a follower of Christ.  Following Christ is.

As the Pigeons Fly

I have to tell the truth
I have a weakness for women
In every state wherever I go
I know it isn't right I feel I'm barely swimming
And the waves keep on crashing down
After every show (Oh boy)
And what am I to do now
Where the hell is my crew now
Supposed to be watching my back
But they're jibbing too
And here she stands before me
And I'm trying to ignore thee
Possible chance of doing wrong
And now I sing my song

What is love, and am I in it
I really like girl and I think I should
What I feel, is there something in it
Cause if not I'm wasting her time
And that's just not good

I'm in the mall in Altadena
Looking through a new magazine
Takin' a little love test to see
If I'm even there
And now it's looking like I'm failing
And now I'm slowly inhaling
Is this issue of Sassy's for real
If so the next step's ill
And dude I'm way past confused now
What do I have to do now
Break up with the girl of my dreams
In the past made mistakes and
Regret every step so I say

And if I don't know what to say
And I'm just standing there in a daze
Please don't walk away so soon
My lady this it might just bloom
And if I don't know what to say
And I'm still standing there in a daze
Please don't walk away from me
Cause I am trapped now set me free

I have to tell the truth (ninjas)
Right now I have a girlfriend (uh oh)
And she'll probably break up with me
After hearing this song (it's like that)
But what am I to do ( I don't know)
I gotta share what I'm feeling (share it boy)
Cause if I can't tell the truth
Then there's something wrong
So I still ask

So I have to ask, So I have to ask
Da da dada, da da dadaadaa
I like you, I hate you
I want you, I love you
I like you, I hate you
I want you, I love you

Tremendous Times

Where do I start...I've spent the last two weeks at my home in San Diego, away from the insanity that is my job in Mobile Alabama. It was probably one of the best times I've had in my life. You know, I'm going to try to get through this without crying, but thinking about everything I was a part of these passed couple weeks, I don't know if that'll be totally possible.

I had never really thought of where I was presently in my life. Our oldest son is about to start Kindergarten and our little one is finally talking. He's going to be 3 in October and for a while he just refused to talk. But I just came to the realization the other day that my kids think that I'm a superhero. I'm the daddy that can do it all. I know everything and I'm scared of nothing and there's nothing I can't do or invent, in their little minds. I love my boys so much and just thinking that thats where I'm at right now in life makes me miss them SOOO much more. To have them as babies is great, but now that I'm SUPERDAD...it sucks soooooo much to be away from them.

Juan Marco said that he hates daddy's job (because I've been away from them since October). Doing what, you ask? Nothing of any serious importance. But that's for another blog...a book maybe? Probably. Isaias is such a marvel. He LOVES his older brother SOOOO much. He follows him and copies him and sleeps with him and wants to do EVERYTHING his older brother does. I hope they never lose that relationship that they have right now. I have only one brother and I don't have the best of relationships with him, so I want our boys to have a special bond growing up.

I love my wife like crazy. More and more every day, whether I'm with her or not, I realize how much I love her and how sexy she really is. And I mean that in EVERY sense of the word. She drives me crazy no matter where we're at. We DO need to work on how we communicate though...jajaja...not that there's anything wrong with it, we just have different wiring schemes in our heads! But that just makes it more fun and interesting.

I can't thank God enough every day for all the blessings He's given me every day... my family, my life, my job, my health, the trials I go through that make me a stronger man for Him and for my family...and for my church. I love Kaleo. And I love Marina López and our 2 precious sons...Juan Marco and Isaias...

4 years today.

Today is an awesome day. Even though I'm not home to celebrate it, I thank God for my 4 year anniversary with my beloved wife, Marina. Its not easy, but it is wonderful. The way we get along, the way she supports me, loves me, and cares for me is remarkable. For a man to have a wife like mine is truly a blessing. She's strong, smart, her spirit is beautiful, and she's hot. God knew what He was doing when He made her...FOR ME!!!

I really can't begin to explain our love, our family, our dynamic...its like no other. Her sisters think I'm weird (guilty!). She talks to them sometimes about different things we do for each other...they mostly react in surprise, as if no other couple in the world did what we do for each other. I love her with all of me. Granted, its not much, but I love her like crazy. Her and our two wonderful, smart, beautiful boys.

I don't know...I can't really write too much right now...my mind is being pulled in 5 different directions on trains of thought of so many different things. Te amo mi reina!!! I hope every day to be a better man, father, and lover...so I can keep her in love with me. ;)

You remember that morning? I do. I LOVE that morning. I'll NEVER forget that morning. I looked at you and knew. It wasn't first time I'd laid my eyes on you...but it was the first time I REALLY saw you.

The Uninvited

So, I'm here in Mobile, Alabama waiting for the ship I'm on to be finished. I'm away from my family and loved ones for I don't know how long. I've tried to deal with being away from home by making a friend...a lone (and by this I mean at least one) friend for me to confide in and trust and hang out with. I must be too trusting or gullible or naive or stupid...because I feel like a complete failure. For some reason I thought finding a friend, a SINGLE FUCKING friend, would have been something reasonably simple. But no.

My mom raised me to never invite myself to anything. To some this may seem conceited if you don't know me, but you know, thats how I was raised. I don't invite myself somewhere I'm not invited to unless its family or a friend. And you know what? No one has invited me to shit. I thought I had a couple of friends, maybe one more...but they've all proven to be really good acquaintances. And I'm not one to attempt to make a friendship with someone who's not going to reciprocate. And I also really don't care for acquaintances.

I thank God for every day I have to live and wait on His time. I want nothing but to have someone to turn to, someone to talk to, someone to be able to connect with. And I know I have that in Him. I just wish I had a little bit of that here in a person in Mobile Alabama.

I don't know...I can't quite find the words to make it sound the way I'm feeling it. It sucks, but its not that bad. Especially since I know I have my friends and family back home. And I have my bible, video games, movies, and art supplies. And when all else fails, I put on my running shoes and hit the road...or the gym...or the pool.