Is it Real, Though?

I know, it's been a while…but hey, that's life, right?

So, about a year and a half ago as some of you may recall, the fellowship my family and I were attending decided that they were going to go in a direction, that after much prayer and consideration, I didn't feel called to take my family into.  They were trying to get the whole fellowship to concentrate their presence into one area and were going to not gather the entire congregation any more.  They were then switching to home churches.  This would have called for me to sell or rent my house and relocate my family to another area.  Not that, for the sake of the gospel, I wouldn't do something like that. On the contrary, I couldn't move my family because I am convicted and convinced that this is precisely where God wants us to be for the foreseeable future.  Also, unable to find somewhere to rent within our price range that would be suitable for my family, it would have been an unwise choice for me as a husband, a  father, and a steward of what God has given us to make.

That said, there was also other information that was used against me, which really had little bearing on our walk as a family, my walk as a man, or the impact the gospel has had on our lives.  Was what I did wrong? Yes. But was it grounds for excommunicating me and my family? Probably not.  Yes, I still struggle with things of the flesh.  Yes, my speech is not always edifying or right. Yes, I still lust. Yes, I still fight to keep my own mind every day.

But you know what?

I'm fighting.

I'm trying every day to be a better man of God. I'm trying and praying to be a better man for my boys, for my wife, for myself, and most importantly, for the glory of the God that gives me mercy, grace and love every day.  It took some time to fight bitterness from growing in my heart.  It took love and encouragement from God's children to stifle those seeds from taking root and flourishing into hate and spite and spewing venom about all those people that were just able to so quickly turn their backs on someone they had supposedly considered family just days prior.

After the Lord gave us a great fellowship of believers here in our own neighborhood, the ONE true friend I have that still attended our old fellowship informed me that they were going back to the way they did things before my family and I left. The reasons they have for returning to this way are varied, and I only pray God's best for them.  I have always only ever loved them and wished God's blessings for them.  I don't even know if they know that.  If they knew us, they'd know it's true.

The purpose of this post is not to say I was right or anything the like.  The purpose of this post is to ask, if someone is truly part of The Family of God, like you say they are, how is it so easy to just "excommunicate" someone after they've committed what you consider a grievous enough sin?  How could you just have gone so cold so quickly towards me and my family?  How could you turn your backs so abruptly on our sister?  Were our sins so grave that they brought utter shame to Christ's name? Were our sins so severe that we're now living lives that have no evidence of God's grace or love or mercy?

I would be hard pressed to say yes.  God's love, forgiveness, grace, and mercy are still ever present in our lives.  Having been through the emotions that my beloved sister is now going through, my Mrs and I have been talking with her and praying for her.  I don't know if you'll read this, but I write it to encourage everyone out there that God's grace and love are bigger than any failure we've suffered or felt we've had imposed on us.  Our God's love and forgiveness is more massive than us failing to walk on the path the way that you've instructed us to do so.

We deeply appreciated your community, relationship, love, and friendship. So, I ask…in the end, was it real?

Rapper's Legacy

In my short time on Twitter, I've seen a different side to social media. Just like with Facebook, there's a very fine edge that you've got to make sure you're aware of.  Investing yourself too much can happen too easily.  But, that is not the point of this post.  This post is dedicated to talking about what I've seen in the lives of many of the rappers I follow.

Some of them I've appreciated for a long time.  Some of them I've only started following because other rappers I follow follow them.  Re-read that if you have to get it...hahaha. I had to type it really slow after thinking it through twice and thrice.  The thing about these rappers is that they've shared an aspect of their lives that I hadn't really thought about.

They have children.

Royce the 5' 9", Sean Mandela, Dres, Illus, Playdough, Manchild, Eminem, (I don't follow any of the next rappers, but they have kids) Nelly, TI, The Game, and many others that I can't recall.  I've seen some of them tweet/talk about their kids.  I've read about how they love their kids.  I've read about how they're gonna discipline their kids, and what shows their kids love, and how much they enjoy parenthood even though it's a challenge.

Why do I bring up rappers and their kids? Because, they know what its like to have children.  They know what its like to love their kids and to sacrifice for them and to have to discipline them.  They want good things for their kids.  They want to give their kids good things and teach them good things.

They want to leave their kids a legacy.

So what?  They're probably all well off and capable of ensuring their children are provided for, right?  Well, that has very little to do with actually leaving their children a legacy.  Some of them (SEE: Just About All Of Them) make music with lyrics that talk about drugs, or violence, or sex with whores.  Some of their music, while displaying their gift, speaks in unedifying ways about life and the things we do.  Granted, some of those things are just a part of many of our lives in this sinful world, but glorifying it is no legacy that any parent that truly loves their children wants.

We want our children to be able to follow our example.  We want to be unashamed to tell our children that we walked in goodness and in love.  While I know, for the most part, that most of their lyrics are just to showcase their talents, to a listener who has no context, they are ridiculous, violent, destructive, venomous songs.

Royce the 5' 9" is a recovered/recovering alcoholic.  He did it for many reasons, but he sees how much it means to be sober and straight for his children.  He can see clearly how much more meaningful life is and how he can enjoy his family all the more without constantly being clouded.  He can more clearly see what it means to be a man of example for his children to follow.

With that said, what is your legacy?  Are you leaving a legacy that you won't be ashamed of for your children?  Are you living a life that is filled with goodness, grace, mercy, truth, strength, justice, and love?  If you're not, and you're still reading, only Christ can help you have a legacy that can change you and your family, and community, for generations.  A life and legacy for Christ is one that we can all be unashamed of.  It's not easy, because as much as I want to and am trying, I fail.  But, God is good and forgives me, and my children see that and see my walk.  They know that I love them and strive to be a strong man for them and for God.

Make sure your legacy is more than stale morals and money.  Give your kids more than you could ever afford.

The Words of our Mouth Versus the Words of our Heart

Some of you may have seen this on my Twitter:

#Thingsyouproblydidntknowaboutme "Fuck" is one of my favorite words.
— Johnny Crash (@dumbstruckMC) January 19, 2013

And it got me to thinking about the implications that that might have to some of my friends and people in general that don't know me very well.  My previous post is pretty heavy with words that some would consider "bad, cussing, or curse words."  As this is a topic that I've had on my mind and in my heart for a good while, I figured that this was as good a time as any to talk about our words.

The words that come out of our mouths tend to define who we are.  What we say, to who we say it, and how we say it all form the personality that a person or people know of us.  There's accents, regional sayings, slang, and so many other things that can be taken into consideration when it comes to speech and communication.  Some people believe that certain words should or shouldn't be said.  But, when it comes down to it, what is a good word?  And what, if any, is a bad word?

Think about this situation. You're minding your own business sitting at a table, reading your book.  A family member sits down in your proximity and puts down a glass of juice and knocks it over...on to your book and into your lap.  Your good time, interrupted, triggers a reflex reaction in your mind.  Angry, you proclaim, "What is your FREAKING problem?!"

Did you say a "bad" word? Did you REALLY cuss? No.  But in your heart, that "freaking" was just as efficient as a "fucking."  The word that came out of your mouth was "cleaner," but the intention in your heart was all the same.  Does it "sound" better?  I suppose one could say that it does.  In the end, the intention and emotion in your heart was the same, regardless of the words that came out of your mouth.

As a people, our words are supposed to be loving, filled with grace, edifying, and wise.  What does this mean?  It means that regardless of your situation, you should have your head and heart in check and always choose your words wisely and prayerfully.  Are there situations where using words like "shit and asshole and fuck" might help someone on their level to understand the gravity of their situation?  Absolutely.  A preacher in a three piece suit is not going to get very far in Southeast San Diego.  And with that said, you have to know who you're talking to, and really rely on the Spirit to give you the words and move in your heart.  By no means would I or should we use those words in every situation, but they most definitely have their time and place.  Whether you use those words or not, your heart and your intention are what matter and normally are conveyed, felt, and clear to the listener.

I don't always use these words in every day life.  I have groups of people who I know are offended by them who never hear them come out of my mouth.  I also have groups of people who I know that know that my use of these words in no way affects my walk with Christ.  I don't wish to offend anyone with my words.  And that should be the case, regardless of our situation.  Whether we're reacting to an adverse condition, or trying to preach the gospel, we should be mindful of our words and the intention of our hearts.

Just because you're not "cussing" does not mean you're not saying "bad words."