Inside me I have so much stuff. I have passion, knowledge, punchlines, jokes, wisdom, an extensive vocabulary, conviction, laughter, and a strong burning desire to share all those things with you.
Why do I feel compelled to do this?
Mainly because I know how bad music on the radio really is. They talk about shallow, destructive things that don't really help anyone. But they're so dang catchy most people don't even know what they're listening to because it sounds so sweet.
If you didn't know, I make Hip Hop/Rap music. I also sing in English and Spanish. I want to make wonderful, beautiful, strong, clever music that edifies, encourages and supports you.
Here's the thing.
While I MAY have somewhere to record, and I can find time to write, what I'm missing is a key piece. I need beats. I don't have the time or capabilities to sit down for hours at a time and dig through samples to make beats. Even if I did, most of the time when I make beats I can't ever really write to them.
That said, beats/instrumentals are a key piece to making music. I'd either need to find someone to help me get quality beats to rhyme on, or get a little help in being able to buy beats. I've gotten good beats for as little as 150$. Believe me, that is cheap when it comes to beats.
I'm not asking for anyone to buy a beat for me. Unless you want to. ;)
What I AM asking for is help. Monetary help? Pretty much. I'm basically a bum on the corner asking everyone who reads this for a couple bucks for a beer...I mean cup of coffee...I mean beat. I wouldn't use any money given to me for anything but making music. How do you know that I'm telling the truth?
It takes a good deal of strength to put something, like this, that a normal person would think is humiliating, on the internet.
Welp, that's bout it. I want to make good music for you and I'm asking for help.
I'm saying I need your help.
Here's a sample. I made this beat a while back, and I got Playdough and ManChild on the track. Two AWESOME MCs. I'm not expecting to make money or get famous from my music. I just want to make it for you.
Ready to rock,
dumbstruck
the big dummie
dumbstruck.bandcamp.com
Thursday, April 17, 2014
Friday, March 21, 2014
Is it Real, Though?
I know, it's been a while…but hey, that's life, right?
So, about a year and a half ago as some of you may recall, the fellowship my family and I were attending decided that they were going to go in a direction, that after much prayer and consideration, I didn't feel called to take my family into. They were trying to get the whole fellowship to concentrate their presence into one area and were going to not gather the entire congregation any more. They were then switching to home churches. This would have called for me to sell or rent my house and relocate my family to another area. Not that, for the sake of the gospel, I wouldn't do something like that. On the contrary, I couldn't move my family because I am convicted and convinced that this is precisely where God wants us to be for the foreseeable future. Also, unable to find somewhere to rent within our price range that would be suitable for my family, it would have been an unwise choice for me as a husband, a father, and a steward of what God has given us to make.
That said, there was also other information that was used against me, which really had little bearing on our walk as a family, my walk as a man, or the impact the gospel has had on our lives. Was what I did wrong? Yes. But was it grounds for excommunicating me and my family? Probably not. Yes, I still struggle with things of the flesh. Yes, my speech is not always edifying or right. Yes, I still lust. Yes, I still fight to keep my own mind every day.
But you know what?
I'm fighting.
I'm trying every day to be a better man of God. I'm trying and praying to be a better man for my boys, for my wife, for myself, and most importantly, for the glory of the God that gives me mercy, grace and love every day. It took some time to fight bitterness from growing in my heart. It took love and encouragement from God's children to stifle those seeds from taking root and flourishing into hate and spite and spewing venom about all those people that were just able to so quickly turn their backs on someone they had supposedly considered family just days prior.
After the Lord gave us a great fellowship of believers here in our own neighborhood, the ONE true friend I have that still attended our old fellowship informed me that they were going back to the way they did things before my family and I left. The reasons they have for returning to this way are varied, and I only pray God's best for them. I have always only ever loved them and wished God's blessings for them. I don't even know if they know that. If they knew us, they'd know it's true.
The purpose of this post is not to say I was right or anything the like. The purpose of this post is to ask, if someone is truly part of The Family of God, like you say they are, how is it so easy to just "excommunicate" someone after they've committed what you consider a grievous enough sin? How could you just have gone so cold so quickly towards me and my family? How could you turn your backs so abruptly on our sister? Were our sins so grave that they brought utter shame to Christ's name? Were our sins so severe that we're now living lives that have no evidence of God's grace or love or mercy?
I would be hard pressed to say yes. God's love, forgiveness, grace, and mercy are still ever present in our lives. Having been through the emotions that my beloved sister is now going through, my Mrs and I have been talking with her and praying for her. I don't know if you'll read this, but I write it to encourage everyone out there that God's grace and love are bigger than any failure we've suffered or felt we've had imposed on us. Our God's love and forgiveness is more massive than us failing to walk on the path the way that you've instructed us to do so.
We deeply appreciated your community, relationship, love, and friendship. So, I ask…in the end, was it real?
So, about a year and a half ago as some of you may recall, the fellowship my family and I were attending decided that they were going to go in a direction, that after much prayer and consideration, I didn't feel called to take my family into. They were trying to get the whole fellowship to concentrate their presence into one area and were going to not gather the entire congregation any more. They were then switching to home churches. This would have called for me to sell or rent my house and relocate my family to another area. Not that, for the sake of the gospel, I wouldn't do something like that. On the contrary, I couldn't move my family because I am convicted and convinced that this is precisely where God wants us to be for the foreseeable future. Also, unable to find somewhere to rent within our price range that would be suitable for my family, it would have been an unwise choice for me as a husband, a father, and a steward of what God has given us to make.
That said, there was also other information that was used against me, which really had little bearing on our walk as a family, my walk as a man, or the impact the gospel has had on our lives. Was what I did wrong? Yes. But was it grounds for excommunicating me and my family? Probably not. Yes, I still struggle with things of the flesh. Yes, my speech is not always edifying or right. Yes, I still lust. Yes, I still fight to keep my own mind every day.
But you know what?
I'm fighting.
I'm trying every day to be a better man of God. I'm trying and praying to be a better man for my boys, for my wife, for myself, and most importantly, for the glory of the God that gives me mercy, grace and love every day. It took some time to fight bitterness from growing in my heart. It took love and encouragement from God's children to stifle those seeds from taking root and flourishing into hate and spite and spewing venom about all those people that were just able to so quickly turn their backs on someone they had supposedly considered family just days prior.
After the Lord gave us a great fellowship of believers here in our own neighborhood, the ONE true friend I have that still attended our old fellowship informed me that they were going back to the way they did things before my family and I left. The reasons they have for returning to this way are varied, and I only pray God's best for them. I have always only ever loved them and wished God's blessings for them. I don't even know if they know that. If they knew us, they'd know it's true.
The purpose of this post is not to say I was right or anything the like. The purpose of this post is to ask, if someone is truly part of The Family of God, like you say they are, how is it so easy to just "excommunicate" someone after they've committed what you consider a grievous enough sin? How could you just have gone so cold so quickly towards me and my family? How could you turn your backs so abruptly on our sister? Were our sins so grave that they brought utter shame to Christ's name? Were our sins so severe that we're now living lives that have no evidence of God's grace or love or mercy?
I would be hard pressed to say yes. God's love, forgiveness, grace, and mercy are still ever present in our lives. Having been through the emotions that my beloved sister is now going through, my Mrs and I have been talking with her and praying for her. I don't know if you'll read this, but I write it to encourage everyone out there that God's grace and love are bigger than any failure we've suffered or felt we've had imposed on us. Our God's love and forgiveness is more massive than us failing to walk on the path the way that you've instructed us to do so.
We deeply appreciated your community, relationship, love, and friendship. So, I ask…in the end, was it real?
Friday, April 5, 2013
The Bicycle Diaries (8 Years)
Our beginning was anything but lovely. She couldn't stand me and I didn't even know she existed the first time we met. Didn't even know anything about anything until April 5th 2005. Its been 8 years. It hasn't been perfect. It hasn't been easy. But it has been filled with Christ's grace, forgiveness, and babies.
This won't be a long post. Its a post to be thankful for the bride God gave me. It's a testament to how much bigger God is than our knowledge, sense of justice, and imperfections. It's a testament to how God builds families and we just get the great privilege to live in them.
God is the one that's made this possible. Not my beautiful, wonderful, broken wife. And most certainly not me. You know me. I am far from perfect. God heals and strengthens. God binds and covers. God has made our relationship and our love deeper. And Lord, thank you.
This won't be a long post. Its a post to be thankful for the bride God gave me. It's a testament to how much bigger God is than our knowledge, sense of justice, and imperfections. It's a testament to how God builds families and we just get the great privilege to live in them.
God is the one that's made this possible. Not my beautiful, wonderful, broken wife. And most certainly not me. You know me. I am far from perfect. God heals and strengthens. God binds and covers. God has made our relationship and our love deeper. And Lord, thank you.
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Rapper's Legacy
In my short time on Twitter, I've seen a different side to social media. Just like with Facebook, there's a very fine edge that you've got to make sure you're aware of. Investing yourself too much can happen too easily. But, that is not the point of this post. This post is dedicated to talking about what I've seen in the lives of many of the rappers I follow.
Some of them I've appreciated for a long time. Some of them I've only started following because other rappers I follow follow them. Re-read that if you have to get it...hahaha. I had to type it really slow after thinking it through twice and thrice. The thing about these rappers is that they've shared an aspect of their lives that I hadn't really thought about.
They have children.
Royce the 5' 9", Sean Mandela, Dres, Illus, Playdough, Manchild, Eminem, (I don't follow any of the next rappers, but they have kids) Nelly, TI, The Game, and many others that I can't recall. I've seen some of them tweet/talk about their kids. I've read about how they love their kids. I've read about how they're gonna discipline their kids, and what shows their kids love, and how much they enjoy parenthood even though it's a challenge.
Why do I bring up rappers and their kids? Because, they know what its like to have children. They know what its like to love their kids and to sacrifice for them and to have to discipline them. They want good things for their kids. They want to give their kids good things and teach them good things.
They want to leave their kids a legacy.
So what? They're probably all well off and capable of ensuring their children are provided for, right? Well, that has very little to do with actually leaving their children a legacy. Some of them (SEE: Just About All Of Them) make music with lyrics that talk about drugs, or violence, or sex with whores. Some of their music, while displaying their gift, speaks in unedifying ways about life and the things we do. Granted, some of those things are just a part of many of our lives in this sinful world, but glorifying it is no legacy that any parent that truly loves their children wants.
We want our children to be able to follow our example. We want to be unashamed to tell our children that we walked in goodness and in love. While I know, for the most part, that most of their lyrics are just to showcase their talents, to a listener who has no context, they are ridiculous, violent, destructive, venomous songs.
Royce the 5' 9" is a recovered/recovering alcoholic. He did it for many reasons, but he sees how much it means to be sober and straight for his children. He can see clearly how much more meaningful life is and how he can enjoy his family all the more without constantly being clouded. He can more clearly see what it means to be a man of example for his children to follow.
With that said, what is your legacy? Are you leaving a legacy that you won't be ashamed of for your children? Are you living a life that is filled with goodness, grace, mercy, truth, strength, justice, and love? If you're not, and you're still reading, only Christ can help you have a legacy that can change you and your family, and community, for generations. A life and legacy for Christ is one that we can all be unashamed of. It's not easy, because as much as I want to and am trying, I fail. But, God is good and forgives me, and my children see that and see my walk. They know that I love them and strive to be a strong man for them and for God.
Make sure your legacy is more than stale morals and money. Give your kids more than you could ever afford.
Some of them I've appreciated for a long time. Some of them I've only started following because other rappers I follow follow them. Re-read that if you have to get it...hahaha. I had to type it really slow after thinking it through twice and thrice. The thing about these rappers is that they've shared an aspect of their lives that I hadn't really thought about.
They have children.
Royce the 5' 9", Sean Mandela, Dres, Illus, Playdough, Manchild, Eminem, (I don't follow any of the next rappers, but they have kids) Nelly, TI, The Game, and many others that I can't recall. I've seen some of them tweet/talk about their kids. I've read about how they love their kids. I've read about how they're gonna discipline their kids, and what shows their kids love, and how much they enjoy parenthood even though it's a challenge.
Why do I bring up rappers and their kids? Because, they know what its like to have children. They know what its like to love their kids and to sacrifice for them and to have to discipline them. They want good things for their kids. They want to give their kids good things and teach them good things.
They want to leave their kids a legacy.
So what? They're probably all well off and capable of ensuring their children are provided for, right? Well, that has very little to do with actually leaving their children a legacy. Some of them (SEE: Just About All Of Them) make music with lyrics that talk about drugs, or violence, or sex with whores. Some of their music, while displaying their gift, speaks in unedifying ways about life and the things we do. Granted, some of those things are just a part of many of our lives in this sinful world, but glorifying it is no legacy that any parent that truly loves their children wants.
We want our children to be able to follow our example. We want to be unashamed to tell our children that we walked in goodness and in love. While I know, for the most part, that most of their lyrics are just to showcase their talents, to a listener who has no context, they are ridiculous, violent, destructive, venomous songs.
Royce the 5' 9" is a recovered/recovering alcoholic. He did it for many reasons, but he sees how much it means to be sober and straight for his children. He can see clearly how much more meaningful life is and how he can enjoy his family all the more without constantly being clouded. He can more clearly see what it means to be a man of example for his children to follow.
With that said, what is your legacy? Are you leaving a legacy that you won't be ashamed of for your children? Are you living a life that is filled with goodness, grace, mercy, truth, strength, justice, and love? If you're not, and you're still reading, only Christ can help you have a legacy that can change you and your family, and community, for generations. A life and legacy for Christ is one that we can all be unashamed of. It's not easy, because as much as I want to and am trying, I fail. But, God is good and forgives me, and my children see that and see my walk. They know that I love them and strive to be a strong man for them and for God.
Make sure your legacy is more than stale morals and money. Give your kids more than you could ever afford.
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
How do we Pray for Professional Athletes?
The last couple weeks that I've been watching my San Francisco 49ers go through the playoffs, I've come to a point where I think to myself, "I'm going to pray for them." And then, I hit the proverbial wall. What am I going to pray for? That they win? Though God knows who is going to win, what help is it to anyone anywhere if I pray for something so selfish and seemingly stupid?
I'd been wrestling with how professional athletes walk in faith and how they can be a witness on the field. I've kind of come to the conclusion that while they're doing their job on the field, not much other than a prayer for protection from injury would seem rather vane. Ultimately though, if athletes are believers, the true testing of their faith, when it comes to their job, is when they walk off the field. Or, in some cases, when they are carried, carted, or walked off the field.
When an athlete fails in his position, he can despair. Even more so if he or she feels like the team lost because of their failure. If an athlete does well, but feels like they're looked over because other people seemed to have performed that much better, that may plant a seed of bitterness or resentment in their heart. If an athlete suffers an injury that ends their season, or worse, their career, they may feel great loss and despair. If an athlete does well in their position, they could possibly become prideful. Again, even more so if their team wins and the win can in any way be attributed to their performance.
All of these things are struggles that we as people face, but professional athletes so much more because of how people idolize them and the pressure placed on them by their families, their teammates and the coaching staff/management. The pressure of expectation of performance, the allure of celebrity, and yes, even a professional athlete's desire to be recognized and appreciated, can all lead to sin. And this is how we can pray for them.
We can pray that God would console them when they are injured, regardless of whether or not they will be able to play any more. That He would show them that He is the true comforter of their hearts. We can pray that when they fail, that they not feel despair at their own failure, but feel loved and more than conquerors, regardless of the email or tweets they receive saying otherwise. We can pray that the Lord give them humble hearts so that celebrity and the short-lived flash of this life not capture their hearts and destroy them from within. We can pray that the Lord use their position to shine, instead of allowing lust and vanity to consume their thoughts and actions. We can pray that they find their accomplishment and recognition in God instead of the questions of press and the adoration of their fans.
To some degree, we all face these things, so really, in the end, we should be praying for each other in all of these aspects as well. Because all of our hearts face these situations and we should not lose sight of God's loving truth. Even if our job is to make it to the SuperBowl...or not.
I'd been wrestling with how professional athletes walk in faith and how they can be a witness on the field. I've kind of come to the conclusion that while they're doing their job on the field, not much other than a prayer for protection from injury would seem rather vane. Ultimately though, if athletes are believers, the true testing of their faith, when it comes to their job, is when they walk off the field. Or, in some cases, when they are carried, carted, or walked off the field.
When an athlete fails in his position, he can despair. Even more so if he or she feels like the team lost because of their failure. If an athlete does well, but feels like they're looked over because other people seemed to have performed that much better, that may plant a seed of bitterness or resentment in their heart. If an athlete suffers an injury that ends their season, or worse, their career, they may feel great loss and despair. If an athlete does well in their position, they could possibly become prideful. Again, even more so if their team wins and the win can in any way be attributed to their performance.
All of these things are struggles that we as people face, but professional athletes so much more because of how people idolize them and the pressure placed on them by their families, their teammates and the coaching staff/management. The pressure of expectation of performance, the allure of celebrity, and yes, even a professional athlete's desire to be recognized and appreciated, can all lead to sin. And this is how we can pray for them.
We can pray that God would console them when they are injured, regardless of whether or not they will be able to play any more. That He would show them that He is the true comforter of their hearts. We can pray that when they fail, that they not feel despair at their own failure, but feel loved and more than conquerors, regardless of the email or tweets they receive saying otherwise. We can pray that the Lord give them humble hearts so that celebrity and the short-lived flash of this life not capture their hearts and destroy them from within. We can pray that the Lord use their position to shine, instead of allowing lust and vanity to consume their thoughts and actions. We can pray that they find their accomplishment and recognition in God instead of the questions of press and the adoration of their fans.
To some degree, we all face these things, so really, in the end, we should be praying for each other in all of these aspects as well. Because all of our hearts face these situations and we should not lose sight of God's loving truth. Even if our job is to make it to the SuperBowl...or not.
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