Where is God?

For a long time now, I've had this brewing, and with yesterday's tragedy, it just brought it all to a head, in my head.  Please please please read it all the way through.  If it doesn't seem to make sense, and you get angry, just read it all the way through so you can REALLY hate me.  But know that God loves you regardless.

• 5 million children a year die from hunger and malnutrition, around the world
• Hundreds of thousands of women, children and men are raped every year
• Women, children and men are sold in to sexual slavery around the world to be exploited till they are either too old, sick with disease, or dead
• Men, women, and children are killed and their organs harvested and sold on the black market
• Over 12 million babies have been aborted since the turn of the century
• There was a murder every 36 minutes, in 2011, in the United states
• Of those murders, 8,552 were committed with a gun of some kind
• Of THOSE murders, 1,220 were committed in the state of California
• A large majority of the world lives at or beneath the poverty line (Israel's poverty line is $7.30 per person per day)

I could run off a list of facts that would just continue to enrage or depress you, or both.  The point is, we live in a world that is overflowing with injustice, depravity, death, greed, and pollution.  Some still cry out, "Where is God?"  God has not left.  God is still sitting, waiting to be called on by His creations which He loves and seeks to redeem.  

"But if He is God, why does He allow such evil to happen?  Why would he allow His creation to suffer so much?  Why would He ALLOW children to die of hunger, rape, murder, and all the other evil things that happen every second of every day around the world?"  So many people use these questions to get angry with God.  So many people are blind to the simple truth.

God has ever been present in our lives and world, and is but a heartbeat away from producing a life-altering change within us that would transform our lives, our families, our communities, our cities, and inevitably, the world.  Change does start with one person, Christ.  Only He can change our hearts and fill them with a wonderful love for our neighbors and neighborhood.  And a neighborhood is the basis of community.  To live in community, through Christ, would radically change many things.  

1.  The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. John 1:5   The darkness could not hide if we were bound in community through Christ.  What does this mean?  It means that truly perverse people with dark hard hearts would flee from the people of God to seek a safer place to do their evil deeds.  They would not be able to abide in the truth and light of God and His people.  

2.  Also, there would not be one person in the community that did not feel loved.  There are literally dozens of verses in the Bible that speak of the community of God loving one another.  With this, no one would feel depressed or alone or abandoned.  God's love brings us into community and His community is filled with love.

But, without realizing that we are poor, needy, destitute sinners that can offer God nothing but our surrender to His love, we can only stand in our pride, which is nothing but filthy rags when compared to a mighty and everlasting God.  Think about this, say you're wrong about God existing and when you die you stand before Him and say, "Well, I was a good person."  He will say to you " 'I tell you, I do not know where you come from. Depart from me, all you workers of evil!' Luke 13:27."  You can bring God NOTHING.  But even so, He still wants to bless you and me, sinners, with more than we could ever imagine.  

God wants you and me to see how much we need Him.  He wants us to turn away from our evil deeds, from our selfish ways, and to turn to Him and say, "Lord, here I am, create in me a clean heart."  He wants us to see how much change He can do in us and through us for our family, our neighbors, our city and the world to see.

Don't get angry because God doesn't step in and stamp out evil with one breath.  He most certainly could, but He doesn't.  Why?  Because He is filled with mercy and His heart breaks that everyone would know Him as Father.  Don't look to Washington, DC to solve our problems, because they are only corrupt men and women, just like us.  The change must start with us.  The change must come from Christ.

Now, you might think these the ramblings of a crazy person.  I'm ok with that.  Just know that I'm not talking about starting up our own "Christian City" where we're all safe from evil and we don't let anyone not with us in.  No, quite the contrary, I'm saying that we need to put our lives for Christ on display, right where they are, in our neighborhoods, jobs, and cities, for the world to see and feel God's love and know Him in spirit and in truth.

God has not left you friend.  He is knocking at the door of your heart.

A Response to the Curse of the American Church

So, upon reading the blog post which can be found here: The Curse of the American Church, I started thinking, "Is this the case?"  Are churches in America so concerned with success that they care more about growth than actual life together, mission, and gospelling one another?  I examined the churches I've had the blessing to be a part of, and the churches I've had the blessing to know people from, and came to the conclusion that no, not all churches in America are so concerned with growth alone that they marginally do the things that should come naturally from living a Spirit filled life.

If you've never heard the saying, "It is more important to be faithful than it is to be successful," think about what the implications of it are.  Let it roll around in your mind and heart for a bit.  Personally, it means that a "great" job that provides for your family might not be a good thing if you have to sacrifice your family to be in that good job.  My brothers and sisters in the Armed Forces, I know this applies to you because I was in your shoes.  Just because we're doing something we think is a "good" thing for our families, doesn't mean we're doing the right thing for our families.  

Corporately in the Church, this means that we can not focus on trivial things such as butts in seats.  While it is important to see that there are butts in seats, our mission and focus is not to scramble frantically to do something about filling them.  We are to live our lives out in the light of God's truth, filled with Christ's love, and lead by the Holy Spirit.  In doing these things, people will be drawn to God, not by our attempts to befriend them through a game of basketball or a meal we share, but by the presence of His Holy Spirit and His heavy and holy hand upon them.  Their spirit will thirst and seek to fulfill that thirst in the only way it knows how, by coming to church to hear His word.  The church, on fire for God, is what caused growth that is so clearly talked about and documented throughout the book of Acts.

Acts 2:47 "...And the Lord added to their number day by day those who were being saved. "

Acts 5:14 "And more than ever believers were added to the Lord, multitudes of both men and women, "

This verse explicitly states a good caveat that is very much implied in all the other verses...

Acts 9:31 "So the church throughout all Judea and Galilee and Samaria had peace and was being built up. And walking in the fear of the Lord and in the comfort of the Holy Spirit, it multiplied."

And Acts 16:5 "So the churches were strengthened in the faith, and they increased in numbers daily."

So, while we can't and shouldn't measure "success" by growth and numbers alone, because our "success" is measured only by how we are walking, personally and corporately, with Christ, we should see growth in our churches.  Why "success" you say?  Because, "success" is never in the sights of a follower of Christ.  Following Christ is.

Through the eyes of a 7 year old boy...

I was one of the "other woman's" kids.  My mom was raising us, and she was doing the best job she could, thank God.  When I was 7, I had a vision of family.  I had a vision of marriage.  I had a vision of friendship.  I got these visions from the shows I watched when I was little.  I watched Leave it to Beaver, The Adam's Family, The Munsters, and Gilligan's Island.  They all were great models of family, friendship, and in three of the four shows, marriage.  I gathered how a man should act, what a man should say, and how he should treat his kids and wife from those shows.  I loved those shows.

Coming from a broken, but blessed, family, I looked at fatherhood and marriage and two great blessings that I was going to "do right," just like in the shows.  I wanted to have a wife and a family that I loved and took care of like the men in those shows.  I KNEW that I was going to be able to do it just like the men in those shows, to care for my wife and family and be a role model that they loved and looked up to.

But no one told me how addicting sex would be.  No one told me how weak my flesh would be.  No one told me about lust.  No one told me about how hard it would be to fight my own mind and thoughts and desires.  No one explained to me that life, REAL-IN-COLOR life, is anything but easy.  No one told me that my own mind and body would be nothing short of my own greatest enemy.

As much as I fail, though, God is good.  He forgives me and loves me and is working on me.  I'm not perfect and I do fail, as many of you have seen firsthand, but regardless of how I've failed, God has always given me another last chance.  God is good.  He is strong.  He is love.  He can mend anything that we break.  But we have to let Him.  We have to want to mend it and allow His love and forgiveness to correct and rebuild us.  It's not easy.  I will fail again, one way or another, because my flesh is still fighting against what I know is right and perfect and good.  I want so bad to do what is good, right, and perfect.  But, I am not perfect...but my God is.  So I will keep coming to Him with a broken and humble heart, asking for my Father to love me and show me once again, how to love my wife and my boys and not fail them.  I will keep trying to be that Godly man and role model that my kids want to be when they grow up.  I want to model a Godly life of love, forgiveness, and repentance for them to be able to desire the same thing I desire now.

Parlon de ma génération...

I come from a broken generation.  A generation filled with broken children who have all grown up looking for love from other broken children.  I am one of them.  I look around me and I see some of my CHRISTIAN family exhibiting just how broken we really are, as they fall apart, while still searching out the face of our Father in heaven.  I see families just crumble, for reasons that I'm not privy to, but ultimately, because we're broken.  We all want to love and to be loved and to feel like we're the most important thing in someone's life.  I know I do...at least there's a part of me that does...we search and we try and we keep going until we feel like we've found it.  But being broken, we never quite acheive it...and we can't see it.   Its not easy, at all...even me, my friends, family, and loved ones know that I'm broken.  They know that I come from a very broken background and that I'm broken to a good degree.  That my desire to be loved and wanted is a large motivating factor in decisions I've made in the past.

Does this mean that I'm not trying to serve God? No.  I want to serve Him the way He wants me to...its just that my brokeness will lead me astray if I falter in my walk with God.  And I will falter, because I am human...but I DO love my Father, and wish only to be His child, because in the end, He is the only true and pure source of love.  He truly IS the only love that satisfies and fulfills.  He is the only one that will not fail or leave us broken.

Sigh...I look around me and all I see is children who want to be loved.  Broken children of broken parents who didn't really know what they were doing.  But the greatest good that they could've done, and hopefully DID do, was pointing us to our Father who loves us more than anything in this world could ever pretend to.  My friends, we are broken...but we are not unloved.  We may feel alone, but we are not abandoned.  My heart is sad at all the brokeness I see and feel...but filled with hope at the thought that our very brokeness could bring us in fellowship with our loving Father.

There's so much more I want to say...but the words just won't come.  God help us to see Your love through our brokeness.
 My precious little boy...

To men that are married or ever desire to be married.

Most of you should already know that I consider myself a Christian.  If I've ever shown you otherwise, I ask for your forgiveness in failing to show my faith in leaning upon God for everything.  With that said, I come to encourage you and call you as men, as well as remind myself, that if you are married or ever plan to get married, that you would take these words to heart and make them a part of you and how you live.  I say this not only for the sake of our wives or your future wives, but for our sake as men as well.  Know that while I might not continually call out specific verses of the Bible, every word contained here within is a direct reflection of God's word and is in no way to  be washed down or broken up in to "just the bits you like."

First, as men, we all want to lead.  Every man has a desire to lead and lead well.  But in a marriage, a man can not simply lead.  As men, we are called to lead by example and love by example.  We are called to sacrifice for our wives and families.  We are called to sacrifice first.  To love first. To forgive first.  To repent first.  To step out in faith first.  Why?  Why should we do all these things first?  Well, first, its because Christ sacrificed Himself for us, perfectly, and calls us to do it.  But secondly, if we don't do what is hard, how will our families ever grow in love?  If you don't do the things a man should in terms of not letting anger or sin or resentment remain in your relationship, how can you expect your wife to be able to step up and follow your lead?  These words are not easy, especially when we KNOW we are right.  Being right doesn't matter.  Loving, sacrificing and leading are what matter.  Christ was right in EVERYTHING He said and did, and yet He STILL chose to go to the cross and do what was supremely hard for the sake of His love, leadership, and sacrifice.

Second, when it comes to sacrificing first, this must mean putting our desires after those of our wife.  I know that we all have things we REALLY want to do, but we must love, honor, and pursue our wives first.  They must, without a doubt, know that we love them before any other thing we want to do.  When we've had a long day, or are not feeling so hot, this is not easy to do.  This is why WE are the men...this is a burden that was put on us.  We are not without help though.  God is there for us to lean on.  Only when our wives feel loved, honored and pursued should we feel free to take on our hobbies.  Let me put this in practical terms.  Do we REALLY want to be fishing, or drawing, or doing WHATEVER it is that we love to do, KNOWING that our beloved wife is sitting somewhere resenting the fact that we haven't sat with her and talked to her, taken her out for a movie, rubbed her shoulders, or otherwise served her lovingly?  Our answer should be no.  Is it easy?  Not all the time...not when we feel like we deserve a break or like we've earned our time to do what we like to do.  But you know what, this is OUR calling as men.

When it comes to repenting and forgiving first, these are areas that we don't think about too much.  I know because when I'm arguing with my beloved bride, and I know I'm right, I tend to buckle down and not give up till she admits she's wrong.  There are very few circumstances where this is right.  And by very few I mean VERY FEW.  Who said what on some random Thursday night or who left the ice creams out to melt are not reasons to go to war with your wife.  And yet, for the sake of being right, even when we KNOW we are right, we go to war with our love.  As men, we should forgive and repent first, regardless of being right or not.  There have been times when I step out, suck it up and prayerfully forgive and repent, even when I know I'm right, and wonderful things happen.  My marriage automatically gets 73% better!  My wife and I aren't upset at each other over something trivial any more!  And sometimes, when it is something kinda big (at least in my mind), my wife will normally come back and say that she was probably the one that was wrong.  Men, if you do this, ONLY GOOD THINGS CAN COME OF IT.

Stepping out in faith first requires that you live a life of faith in God first.  If you don't then you might not find this area too interesting.  But this will speak shortly to leading our family spiritually.  As men, we are called to love and lead our wives and enrich their walk with Him as well.  This means finding a good church and doing the things necessary to build our wives' faith and walk with Christ.  This means praying for her/praying over her.  This means reading the Bible.  This means if hard decisions come up with respect to our walk, we as men are called to seek out God's will and make the decision.  This doesn't mean that we should do this without our wives, but it means that ultimately, God will hold US accountable for the spiritual leadership of our wives.

All these things go against what our minds, our oh so logical minds, tell us is right.  They go against most, if not all, of what we've been taught is fair or expected of a man.  I'm glad that you see that, or at least feel it.  I still struggle with some of these aspects, so don't think I'm speaking down to any of you.  Quite the opposite, I'm typing this out so I have a black a white reference to go back to and read some of what's expected of me as a man.   You ask, "SOME of what's expected of me as a man...?" Yes, I said some.  This is by no means a complete list of all the things a man is called to do when he loves a woman.  But its a good foothold.  I encourage you, as my friends, to love, honor and pursue your wives as Christ loved us.  And if you want to know how Christ loved us, feel free to ask me.