Thursday, April 17, 2014

My Heart For You

Inside me I have so much stuff. I have passion, knowledge, punchlines, jokes, wisdom, an extensive vocabulary, conviction, laughter, and a strong burning desire to share all those things with you.

Why do I feel compelled to do this?

Mainly because I know how bad music on the radio really is.  They talk about shallow, destructive things that don't really help anyone. But they're so dang catchy most people don't even know what they're listening to because it sounds so sweet.

If you didn't know, I make Hip Hop/Rap music. I also sing in English and Spanish. I want to make wonderful, beautiful, strong, clever music that edifies, encourages and supports you.

Here's the thing.

While I MAY have somewhere to record, and I can find time to write, what I'm missing is a key piece. I need beats.  I don't have the time or capabilities to sit down for hours at a time and dig through samples to make beats.  Even if I did, most of the time when I make beats I can't ever really write to them.

That said, beats/instrumentals are a key piece to making music.  I'd either need to find someone to help me get quality beats to rhyme on, or get a little help in being able to buy beats.  I've gotten good beats for as little as 150$. Believe me, that is cheap when it comes to beats.

I'm not asking for anyone to buy a beat for me. Unless you want to. ;)

What I AM asking for is help. Monetary help? Pretty much. I'm basically a bum on the corner asking everyone who reads this for a couple bucks for a beer...I mean cup of coffee...I mean beat.  I wouldn't use any money given to me for anything but making music.  How do you know that I'm telling the truth?

It takes a good deal of strength to put something, like this, that a normal person would think is humiliating, on the internet.

Welp, that's bout it. I want to make good music for you and I'm asking for help.

I'm saying I need your help.

Here's a sample. I made this beat a while back, and I got Playdough and ManChild on the track. Two AWESOME MCs. I'm not expecting to make money or get famous from my music. I just want to make it for you.



Ready to rock,

dumbstruck
the big dummie
dumbstruck.bandcamp.com


Friday, March 21, 2014

Is it Real, Though?

I know, it's been a while…but hey, that's life, right?

So, about a year and a half ago as some of you may recall, the fellowship my family and I were attending decided that they were going to go in a direction, that after much prayer and consideration, I didn't feel called to take my family into.  They were trying to get the whole fellowship to concentrate their presence into one area and were going to not gather the entire congregation any more.  They were then switching to home churches.  This would have called for me to sell or rent my house and relocate my family to another area.  Not that, for the sake of the gospel, I wouldn't do something like that. On the contrary, I couldn't move my family because I am convicted and convinced that this is precisely where God wants us to be for the foreseeable future.  Also, unable to find somewhere to rent within our price range that would be suitable for my family, it would have been an unwise choice for me as a husband, a  father, and a steward of what God has given us to make.

That said, there was also other information that was used against me, which really had little bearing on our walk as a family, my walk as a man, or the impact the gospel has had on our lives.  Was what I did wrong? Yes. But was it grounds for excommunicating me and my family? Probably not.  Yes, I still struggle with things of the flesh.  Yes, my speech is not always edifying or right. Yes, I still lust. Yes, I still fight to keep my own mind every day.

But you know what?

I'm fighting.

I'm trying every day to be a better man of God. I'm trying and praying to be a better man for my boys, for my wife, for myself, and most importantly, for the glory of the God that gives me mercy, grace and love every day.  It took some time to fight bitterness from growing in my heart.  It took love and encouragement from God's children to stifle those seeds from taking root and flourishing into hate and spite and spewing venom about all those people that were just able to so quickly turn their backs on someone they had supposedly considered family just days prior.

After the Lord gave us a great fellowship of believers here in our own neighborhood, the ONE true friend I have that still attended our old fellowship informed me that they were going back to the way they did things before my family and I left. The reasons they have for returning to this way are varied, and I only pray God's best for them.  I have always only ever loved them and wished God's blessings for them.  I don't even know if they know that.  If they knew us, they'd know it's true.

The purpose of this post is not to say I was right or anything the like.  The purpose of this post is to ask, if someone is truly part of The Family of God, like you say they are, how is it so easy to just "excommunicate" someone after they've committed what you consider a grievous enough sin?  How could you just have gone so cold so quickly towards me and my family?  How could you turn your backs so abruptly on our sister?  Were our sins so grave that they brought utter shame to Christ's name? Were our sins so severe that we're now living lives that have no evidence of God's grace or love or mercy?

I would be hard pressed to say yes.  God's love, forgiveness, grace, and mercy are still ever present in our lives.  Having been through the emotions that my beloved sister is now going through, my Mrs and I have been talking with her and praying for her.  I don't know if you'll read this, but I write it to encourage everyone out there that God's grace and love are bigger than any failure we've suffered or felt we've had imposed on us.  Our God's love and forgiveness is more massive than us failing to walk on the path the way that you've instructed us to do so.

We deeply appreciated your community, relationship, love, and friendship. So, I ask…in the end, was it real?